Thanks for checking in, I know I’m a little behind so please excuse me. Extreme Rules 2011 will forever be known as the PPV that was overshadowed by Bin Laden. That man, even in his death, has managed to cause more heartbreak. The heartbreak of the WWE Fans.
Back to the action I might as well do the logical thing and start from the beginning. We kicked off the Randy Orton vs CM Punk in a No DQ Last Man Standing Match. Booker, Josh and King made a big deal to hype up the fact that nothing was illegal in this match. Then, Punk comes out with the New Nexus and the Anonymous GM informs everyone (via Josh Matthews) that Nexus is banned from ringside. Um, call me stupid but… doesn’t No DQ mean NOTHING IS BANNED?!
The pair had an interesting match but everyone knew which way it was going. The real winner in this entire match was the good ‘ole Kendo stick which got a good look in. It’s very rare that the Kendo stick gets a lot of attention in a match and I, for one, welcome it. It’s nice to see that Punk and Orton have a very Ken-do attitude.
The match was won by Orton after what could’ve been a disaster. Orton wasn’t getting up quick enough during the final 10 count so the ref had to tell him to get up. Woopsie.
We then hit backstage with US Champ Sheamus who told Teddy Long he was furious that he would have to face Kofi Kingston in a bonus Tables Match for the US Title. Sheamus told Teddy that he was more annoyed that Kofi wasn’t American and he demanded that Kofi show us all his birth certificate. Oh, WWE and your satire. Problem is, they forgot to mention that Sheamus is from Dublin so he also isn’t America. But who cares about facts?!
The Sheamus/Kofi match was everything you’d expect. Interesting moves but on-the-whole a very mid-card bout. That is, however, until Kofi pulls out an amazing move. Whilst on the outside, Sheamus pulls himself up using a table set up already. Kofi then jumps the turnbuckle and hits a leg drop on Sheamus, winning the match. It was a stunning move and just goes to show that you should never judge a book by its cover. Meh, who am I kidding? I’ve learnt NOTHING.
Backstage after this match was R Truth who cut the worst promo in recent history. He was huffing and puffing about how it was unfair he wasn’t in the Triple Threat but sadly there was no mention of his imaginary fan, Little Jimmy. I don’t think he could get tickets. The bizarre factor came when Truth declared that “nobody knows what the nose knows”. He then said he smelt a conspiracy. Um, I think you smell burnt toast because I’m 99% sure he had a stroke. Truth then said there’s nothing more he hates than a thief. Oh really? Because he just stole 6 minutes of my life I’m never getting back. Hypocrite.
Uh, then it was time for the Country Whipping Match. I’m a huge fan of Michael Cole and the way his character has developed but now I’m
bored of it. The character is becoming more of a caricature and quite frankly, it’s getting annoying. The match was everything you’d expect from two non-wrestlers, an old –timer and someone who was randomly placed there. It was slow, painful and often boring. The opening was interesting as Michael Cole channelled Lady GaGa wearing a bubble wrap outfit. It was clever. The ending was also a shock because Cole won meaning the whole shtick still hasn’t ended. Lord give me strength.
We were then given a fantastic video package which displayed the change from Dashing Cody Rhodes to Cody’s phantom-esque persona. It was beautifully done and a testament to the production department. The match got under way and boy was it a doozy. I’ll be honest, I’m not going to write much because I cannot convey in words how great this match was. They used every inch of the arena brilliantly with moves I’ve not seen either of them pull out in a long time. They gave it their all and then, to everyone’s surprise, Mysterio wins by blinding Cody with Green Mist!
From Misty to Bitchy, it was time for one of the matches I was most looking forward to. Internet rumours were flying around that Michelle McCool wanted to bow out so this Loser Leaves WWE match seemed like the perfect time. Layla and Michelle had a fantastic match and I don’t think Layla gets enough credit for her skills. I think Layla isn’t the greatest wrestler but she’s maybe not as bad as I have previously stated. This being Extreme Rules, I felt they could’ve made the stipulation a little more interesting but either way, McCool lost and would exit the WWE.
Then we met Kharma aka Awesome Kong. It was the most-hyped Diva debut in years and boy did it pay off. Kharma was truly scary and I know she’s going to have fantastic impact. Her laugh gave me chills. I still don’t feel comfortable calling her a Diva because I mean really, how demeaning is it to call someone of her calibre a Diva. Plus she looks like Whoopi Goldberg on steroids… there ain’t nothing Diva about that.
Christian vs Del Rio for the WHC Title was our next offering and a match I was looking forward to. It was genuinely hard to predict where this would go. Del Rio could win and take the title to RAW and unify the two titles or Christian could win and surprise the entire WWE Universe. After an epic bout which saw both men pull off moves that are unimaginable, Christian did win. The match itself was brilliant and it was obvious that it was brutal. Even Brodus Clay’s interference resulted in blood shed.
It was also great to see that they involved Edge and the embrace the two had at the end was a beautiful way to end Edge’s story. And may long Christian reign as Champion! Huh? WHAT?! Ohhh man… really? How did I not hear…?
For some reason, WWE felt like filling some time so we were given a Tag Title match. Let’s just say it was Lumber-crap and Kane/Show kept the belts. It did play nice into the whole Corre-rosion aspect of things but it wasn’t needed. At all.
Finally we hit our main event and nothing could stop this show making headlines. We had a cage match, a triple threat, The Miz, Cena and Morrison. This was going to be the talking point for everyone for the next few weeks. The match got under way and boy was it good. Oh yeah, then Obama decided to make a speech. I found out about this via Twitter and I knew that my love for WWE couldn’t overshadow the fact that something major was happening. I did wonder if Obama was going to announce he was the Anonymous GM but I quickly realised this was delusion due to lack of sleep.
Yes, it’s the story of the decade – Obama got Osama. Only, whilst it was happening, the match was still going on. The match was fantastic with lots of twists and turns and Morrison may not be a big draw but he excelled in the cage. Problem is, he could scale the cage in seconds so it was hard to believe he couldn’t just run and jump out of the thing before anyone caught him. He did, however, end up with a massive wedgie and a bruised face. The face was courtesy of R Truth who ran in and beat everyone up. With Morrison out, Miz made a run for it but was stopped by Cena who hit the AA on Miz to win the championship.
I’m kinda glad Cena got overshadowed. I think Bin Laden wasn’t shot. He killed himself because he was a fan of The Miz.
The PPV ended and we all got a bit of perspective. It was pretty awesome though.
Lemme know your thoughts, no matter how extreme.
XO – WB