Hey gang, another stellar week for the blog so thank you all very much for that. It’s nice that people are coming to the site regularly. I know you come from the pictures but I sure hope you give these recaps a read.
So, I’ve still had nobody tell me the rap/poetry (rapoetry) sucks so shall continue along that path.
The show opened with, unpredictably, CM Punk who wanted to let everyone know why he decided to resign. Many people were confused as to why he bothered and well, the cynic in me says it’s probably to do with money. Anycash, Punk says the reason he stayed is that he is the voice of the voiceless and if he wasn’t around, he couldn’t instigate change. He said that change is in the air and he did it for the fans. It seems doing it for the fans is a popular reason for doing things and I think I’ll start doing that. So next time I’m caught masturbating on a bus to RAW or Smackdown I’ll tell the judge it’s for my fans. That should work? Right?
Then things go juicy.
HHH made his way to the ring
He wanted to tell Punk his reasoning
He said he hired Punk because for business it’s good
He said he’d set aside his own bad blood
When pressed on his opinion of him, HHH was blunt
He thinks Punk is smug and overrated and, well, basically a cunt
Punk just laughed and said it couldn’t be clearer
That for HHH is was probably like looking in a mirror
HHH agreed but Punk wasn’t done
He said HHH was a bully and pushed around everyone
Then he decided to really twist the knife
By inferring HHH went bitching to his wife
HHH got mad at Punk being crassed
And made some crazy comment about a skinny fat ass
Punk continued to wind him up
HHH said he’d love nothing more than to swing a punch
But he said he felt that the rules were there for a reason
Punk said that he needed permission to beat him
And with that the confrontation was done
But when it comes to HHH has Punk really won?
Next up was the Divas Battle Royal which was surprisingly long and even went into a commercial break. It was, unsurprisingly a clusterfuck with Kelly Kelly on commentary just making it worse although I am sure it was nice for Kelly to have words dripping out of her mouth rather than the usual. The winner of the Battle Royal was Beth Pheonix and, to my glee, she beat Kelly Kelly down after she won.
We then headed backstage with The Miz & R Truth
Miz was upset and he hit the roof
He said R Truth was crazy and he didn’t want to play his game
But Truth suggested they were actually the same
Miz got mad as he thinks Truth his mental
But Truth continued to be kind and gentle
He asked the Miz that if Punk’s return was planned
What was the point of the Tournament, man
Miz pondered and Truth disappeared
Even I must admit maybe Truth’s conspiracy ain’t so weird.
We then went to an Interview with John Cena who said that he was going to make sure he was around to hear what HHH had to say as HHH had a huge decision. He said he felt he is the champion but he will hear HHH out.
The next match up was tag team action
And for a bad guy Miz got a great reaction
Morrison & Mysterio were Miz & Truth’s opponents
Truth continued talking to himself like he’s missing a component
The match itself was your simple fair
With added abs and wavy hair
Morrison’s return looked set to gain him the win
But it was Truth that managed to gain the pin
The 1, 2, 3 wasn’t enough for Miz
He wanted to show everyone he’s the baddest man in the biz
A Skull Crushing finale seemed to seal his fate
Then he and Truth had a bromantic embrace.
We then went backstage to Triple H who said that he isn’t phased by what Punk said because people have been saying it for years. It does often annoy me that HHH gets stick about his relationship to Steph but I guess that makes me a bit of a hypocrite considering how often I ride Kelly Kelly. But, in all fairness, if I wasn’t riding Kelly Kelly… another WWE superstar would have to. ZING!
Then out game Dolph along with my new hero
The sexy cougar that is Mrs Vickie Guerrero
She took to the mic to hype up her little floozy
But the crowd were rude so she just yelled EXCUSE ME
One the fans had settled their boos
Vickie Guerrero got chance to air her biased views
She said Dolph was the best man in the WWE
But there was one man backstage who didn’t quite agree
A-Ry challenged Dolph to a match without Vickie
But they exited the ring rather quickly
It seems like Vickie’s power is beginning to slide
But will Dolph stick by her or kick her to the side?
Next was Otunga & McGilililiililililicunty vs Santino and internet darling Zack Ryder. The match was what you’d expect and no explanation of what happens to New Nexus was offered. Instead, it was a quick match up where Otunga and McCunty won.
Backstage, Josh Matthews continued his interview whore tour by chatting to CM Punk who basically said he was the real champ. Yadda, yadda, filler.
Speaking of filler, Evan Bourne went up against Del Rio and lost. Yawn.
The main event wasn’t actually a match
It was for HHH to decide in which ring he’d throw his hat
After weighing up all the pros and cons
He decided where the title truly belongs
But before he could announce what he wanted to say
John Laurinaitis came out and he wanted to play
He said he’s been in Corporate for 20 years now
And he knows what Vince would want to do with his cash cow
With Johnny Ace interfering, Cena decided to make an appearance
He said to Laurinaitis that he was a snake
That he was still mad at Cena for the punch in the face
He begged HHH to do the right thing
And Laurinaitis soon left the ring
HHH told Cena that he wouldn’t be stripped
That’s when Punk’s music soon let ripped
Punk accused HHH of returning to the Status Quo
HHH told him that he doesn’t think so
He said the real champion would be decided in the best way they can
In a one-on-one match at Summerslam
The stage has been set and I really can’t wait
To find out the WWE Title’s one true fate.