So, Wrestlemania is drawing closer and closer. But what might go down at the Show of Shows? Well, it wouldn’t be a PPV without my always incorrect and bizarre predictions. Remember, these are from the brain of a crazy person.
But do make sure you let me know what YOU think will go down at Wrestlemania.
Wade Barrett v The Miz (Pre-Show Match for the Intercontinental Title)
I think this could prove to be a good match. Yes, it’s pre-show but it’s Wrestlemania AND it’s televised. It’s sad to see The Miz come from main eventing to this but, like every job, sometimes you’re on top and sometimes you’re a bottom. Ok, I may be talking about orgies.
Either way, we’re no doubt in for a treat which I think will see The Miz win the title.
WINNER: The Miz
Team Hell No v Dolph Ziggler & Big E Langston (for the Tag Team Titles)
I think this could be a nice surprise of the night. I don’t think this will be a match that’s remembered for being a great match but I think it’ll act as a storytelling device.
It’s my belief that this match will end in a no-contest thanks to AJ shenanigans. I’m guessing some sort of double count-out. I think that AJ will screw Dolph over and leave him out of the Tag Team title race.
More on Big E’s role later…
WINNERS: No Contest
Tons Of Funk & The Funkadactyls vs Team Rhodes Scholars & The Bella Twins
This match is so dumb. This is more pre-show worthy than Barrett v Miz. But, alas, it’s happening and it’s currently the only divas action on the card.
WINNERS: Team Rhodes Scholars & The Bella Twins
Ryback v Mark Henry
This is a match I’m not particularly interested in seeing. I just don’t buy into a storyline where it’s literally two men putting their dicks on the table and measuring. It seems a pathetic story of “I’M BIGGER THAN YOU” and I don’t think it’s Wrestlemania worthy. However, I do think we’ll see some rather agile big men do some cool stuff.
Chris Jericho vs Fandango
This is one I’m really looking forward to. I know Fandango is a great wrestler and I also know that Chris Jericho knows how to work a match like a freaking pro. Their story has been another loose one. The fact that Jericho isn’t saying Fandango’s name properly isn’t exactly storyline of the year but, at the same time, you know it’s something deeper for Jericho. It’s about respect.
But, I think this is the night of new talent so I’m going for Fandango.
Randy Orton, Sheamus & The Big Show v The Shield
I think this will be a great match. The Big Show is the live wire in this one and there’s been a lot of talk of Sheamus or Randy turning over to the dark side. The three men don’t get along but they have been bound by their hatred for The Shield.
My guess is that The Shield will have an even bigger role at Wrestlemania. Again… more on that later. Either way, they’re winning this.
WINNERS: The Shield
Jack Swagger v Alberto Del Rio (for the World Heavyweight Championship)
Certainly a fun storyline and I think they’ve played it really well. It’s ruffled a few Tea Party feathers and, heck, that’s always fun. I think both these men have great talent and have done a lot with what they’ve been dealt with.
There’s a lot of layers to this match. The bigotry of Swagger and Colter mixed with the pain inflicted on Alberto’s gay Mexican lover, Ricardo Rodriguez. I don’t believe that we’ll see an end to this feud at Wrestlemania.
It’s my belief that the winner of this match will be Jack Swagger who will win thanks to some sort of trickery. I then think Alberto will exact his revenge on Swagger by beating him up. This then gives Dolph Ziggler the chance to cash in, this time, successfully.
However, as Ziggler celebrates in the ring, Big E Langston (who is flanked by AJ) will come to the ring and destroy Ziggler. Ziggler turns face and he and Big E go on to battle it out.
WINNER: Jack Swagger followed by a Dolph Ziggler cash in
Triple H vs Brock Lesnar (If Triple H loses, he must retire)
This is a match where I genuinely don’t know who the winner will be. I find it very hard to guess. Triple H is clearly moving on up with his responsibilities in WWE and spends most of his time finding new talent. Brock Lesnar doesn’t tend to stick around long either, so it’s hard to tell.
I think that Wrestlemania is going to be a night where we say goodbye to old friends. WWE is going home, to where WWE has its headquarters and where it built its empire from. I think it’d be fitting to see new stars formed and older flames be blown out.
That’s why, regrettably, I believe Brock Lesnar will win.
WINNER: Brock Lesnar
The Undertaker v CM Punk
This is another one that’s hard to predict. It’s hard to ever think of the streak being ended but I think if anyone is going to do it, it’s CM Punk. CM Punk is WWE’s biggest new star. He has millions of fans behind him. CM Punk already has the Urn, a part of Undertaker. The only thing keeping Undertaker alive is the streak.
As I said above, I think this Wrestlemania will see some flames burn out and I think Undertaker’s will be one of them. CM Punk wins, kills the streak and, thus, kills Undertaker. And, at the same time, has millions more people hate him to become the ultimate heel.
WINNER: CM Punk
The Rock v John Cena (for the WWE Championship)
I’m looking forward to this match. The simple answer here would be that Cena simply couldn’t lose again, surely not. Because Cena is pinning everything on this… this is his redemption. The Rock, however, has the WWE Title. HIS WWE title. The Rock despises John Cena because Cena is the star of WWE. Michael Cole said it today during the Wrestlemania press conference “this man has held up the WWE for almost ten years”.
This is where things, in my mind, get interesting. What if The Rock wins thanks to The Shield. What if, the entire time, The Rock has been behind The Shield. The injustice they are fighting is the injustice that he isn’t WWE’s biggest star anymore. All the people The Shield have taken out are rising stars or people the fans love. What if The Rock is trying to destroy everything and everyone that seems to be rising hire than he is.
It’s far-fetched. Unlikely to happen. But that’s my prediction.
WINNER: The Rock
So there we have it. The predictions of a mad man. Could we see an epic Face turn from Dolph Ziggler and an epic Heel turn from The Rock?
No matter what happens, I cannot wait for Wrestlemania.