Predictions With A Capitol P

Hey everyone. Just a quick one to get my predictions out there. I completely forgot to do them so it’s pretty last minute.

Rey Mysterio v CM Punk

I think this match is going to be a bit boring but who knows? CM Punk is a real superstar and I think it’s unfair that he constantly loses all the time. I honestly don’t know which way this will go as WWE doesn’t seem to be pushing either of these two men for anything at the minute.

I’m going to go with a CM Punk win. I presume New Nexus will be involved but I have a feeling they will probably be banned from ringside.

Alex Riley v The Miz

An interesting one. The Miz is a must-see champion and he certainly could do without losing but then we wouldn’t get our big pay-off. I’m going to say that the WWE might surprise us and this feud could go on longer than we thought.

I’m predicting The Miz will pick up the win.

Big Show v Alberto Del Rio

I’m loving the direction Big Show is taking and I think that the match will end with him beating the hell out of Del Rio. I also have a feeling that maybe, just maybe, the match might not even happen. It’s a real long shot and it’d be a surprise but I think maybe Big Show might just get “arrested”.

If the match does go ahead, I’m going to say that Big Show will pick up the win and probably try to smash Del Rio’s face in afterwards.

Wade Barrett v Ezekiel Jackson (Intercontinental Championship)

It’s been an interesting character change for Wade as he breaks away from Justin Gabriel and Heath Slater. I think that, ultimately, Wade is more interesting in the ring which is why I think Wade will pick up the win.

I’m just not a fan of Zeke.

Kofi Kingston v Dolph Ziggler (US Championship)

I’m actually looking forward to this match. I’m a huge fan of Dolph and Kofi always does great at the big PPVs. I think Vicki will be a huge part of this and it could go either way. She might try to help him win it and result in him losing or she’ll try and she’ll succeed.

I’m going to say that she’ll try to help him and fail so Kofi will pick up the win. I see the Dolph/Vicki story taking a huge turn for the bad.

John Cena v R Truth (WWE Championship)

Another interesting one. R Truth has been amazing these past few months but I really don’t forsee him picking up a title. I don’t think Cena will be dropping the title just yet so John Cena will win.

Randy Orton v Christian (World Heavyweight Championship)

Another interesting one which could go either way. Everyone is expecting Randy Orton to win and often what fans expect usually happens. Christian has played a solid character but I think it’d be more interesting for him to lose again and see where he goes.

I’m going to say Randy Orton retains.

Other Predictions

  • I predict that there will be many Anthony Weiner jokes
  • I think the Anonymous Raw GM will announce that he/she will reveal themselves on RAW (wishful thinking)
  • I think we’ll see an additional match which I think will either be Tag Team Title match between New Nexus and Gabriel/Slater or Jack Swagger v Evan Bourne. I hope though it’s a Divas match as there isn’t one on the card.
  • I think Donald Trump will make an appearance somehow
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All Star(less) Night

RAW this past Monday was a three hour All-Star spectacular. We’re talking legends, great matches, storylines and, of course, uber promotion of WWE’s new All Stars game. But was this 3 hour outing to be an All Star event?

We began with the huge announcement of the main event; John Cena v CM Punk. A match I was actually excited about. It was clear from the off that the new game would be heavily feature and it’s to be expected. I’m on the fence about whether or not to actually buy the game. I might give it a LoveFilm rental.

Anyhoo, back to the action, Miz made his way to the ring. Miz in a suit with his ass bursting out of the pants makes me cream myself instantly. You may think that’s a bit TMI but who cares? I’m amongst friends, right? So Miz makes a big speech about how he thinks that he’s the All Star of All Stars. I don’t really hear what he says because I’m too mesmerised by his beauty. I really need to take a cold shower before RAW in future. He also says that Stone Cold Steve Austin owes him an apology. For those too lazy to read my last RAW recap, SCSA was special guest ref in a tag match involving Miz and he stunned Miz and helped create the set up for his loss of the match. So, SCSA isn’t one for being called out and not answering that call and made his way to the ring. I love the dynamic between these two already so I got excited. SCSA told Miz that he was a great talker but he’s not a fighter. He said A-Ry talked the talk AND walked the walked. In my opinion, walking the walk is over-rated.

SCSA felt that The Miz and A-Ry had a lot to sort out and that maybe they should get counselling. I predicted awful segments in the same vein as the LayCool stuff. Then my mind wandered to sex therapy and I think I actually might’ve lost myself. However, upon rewind, SCSA felt the best therapy money can buy could be in the ring… In Piper’s Pit. Now, I’ll be honest, I’m not a great fan of Rowdy Roddy Piper. I find his schtick irritating but, each to their own.  SCSA then told Miz to get the hell out the ring before he stunned him.

After Miz left, Alberto Del Rio decided to make an appearance. Del Rio is getting mighty boring now and his speeches are too similar. He’s like the Peter Kay of WWE. After banging on about destiny, SCSA decided that it was Del Rio’s destiny to get his butt kicked as, waiting to get at him, was Kane!

This was to be the first match of the night and, to be honest, it kind of sucked. It was bland and ended in a DQ after Del Rio refused to adhere to a rope break. After trying to break Kane’s arm for a good 2 minutes, Big Show made his way to the ring. Big Show running was hilarious to me and I’ve actually taken to watching it over and over so if there are any smarty pants out there that could make me a GIF, I’d probably blow you and/or a close friend. Show beat down on Del Rio’s personal ring announcer and punched him until he was unconscious. SCSA then appeared to announce that Del Rio and Show would go head to head at Capitol Punishment.

From Big Show to Sex Show, next was Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase and Wade Barrett v Daniel Bryan, Sin Cara and Ezekiel Jackson. The sex show btw was referring to Cody and Ted. Just want to clear that quickly. Again, my penis ended up watching this for me as my eyes were glued to Cody’s ample butt and bulge but I’m always impressed by Sin Cara. Problem is, he doesn’t finish big. I mean, the guy won the match with a freakin’ cross body. Most people can do a cross body. I demand more flippy things.

Getting some time in the ring after the match was Hornswaggle who was using a shirt gun to amp up the crowd. I can’t stomach seeing these sorts of guns since Maude died in The Simpsons. It’s still a bit too fresh for me. Swaggle didn’t get to fire for long as R Truth interrupted. Truth bounced down to the ring, crazy in his eyes as he declared he was a “GOOD R TROOF”. He asked for a go of the gun and Hornswaggle refused, instead firing a t shirt at Truth! Oh my. Unhappy, Truth then grabbed Hornswaggle in what seemed to be some sort of creepy kid-loves-their-doll kind of hug only then to kick him in the face. Hornswaggle went down like a hooker in an alleyway. SCSA then hit the big screen telling Truth to pick on someone his own size, we were then shown John Morrison who looks a lot like a seal when he smiles. Literally just noticed.

More ridiculousness followed with Sheamus going against Santino. It ended exactly how you thought it might, well, sort of. Sheamus, of course, picked up the win but this time he decided to do a cloverleaf-style submission move. Very interesting indeed.

Next was Randy Snoreton who made his way to the ring to tell Christian that he should come out and face him. Christian had subjected Orton to yet another attack with the belt so Orton was looking for blood. Christian at first refused to come out but when Orton baited him, he changed his tune. Orton was actually pretty good, in all fairness, so I was sort of impressed. When Christian got to the ring, however, he was about to leave but then a team of security arrived. Oh, security, how I’ve missed you. A plot device like no other. The Anonymous GM then piped up that Orton had a concussion (seriously?) and could not compete. The GM said that if Orton doesn’t go home, he will be stripped of the title. That’s the Anon RAW GM… pretty sure he/she can’t do that.

SCSA then announced that just because Orton can’t fight, doesn’t mean Christian can’t. A match against Rey Mysterio was set.

I’m extremely unlikely to ever get excited about a Rey Mysterio match and this was no different. A boring match that ended in another 5-Count DQ as Christian kept Rey in the corner for too long. After the bell had been rung, Christian continued his assault but it seemed that Rey was getting the upperhand. That was, until, New Nexus arrived. After getting his butt kicked by Mason Ryan, Christian hit Rey with the Killswitch.

Backstage is everyone’s favourite non-couple since Oprah and Gayle… Dolph and Vicki! Vicki is protesting that SCSA set a match for Capitol Punishment for Dolph to face Kofi Kingston for the US Title. SCSA agreed but, on one condition, Dolph dump Vicki! Vicki’s face then brilliantly told a thousand words as she screeched that he can’t do this. Dolph then agreed to these terms and Vicki got extremely upset. SCSA then revealed he was joking. Hilarious. My favourite moment of the night so far.

Following that was R Truth v John Morrison. R Truth had made his way to the ring and waited for John Morrison but the dude was a no show. Truth then took to the mic to tell Morrison to get his ass to the ring. After feeling unheard, Truth headed backstage to discover Morrison laid out. Thus ensued hilarity on a level that made me think I was tripping on acid. “LIL JIMMY GOT JONNY, LET’S CHECK IT OUT” screamed a now clearly BAD R TROOF who continued to attack Morrison ending the entire thing with “TAKE THAT LIL JIMMY”. Oh Lil Jimmy. Poor kid.

Next was tag action seeing Jack Swagger and Dolph Ziggler take on Evan Bourne and Kofi Kingston. A pretty solid match which saw Evan pick up the win.

Then it was the moment I was dreading, Piper’s Pit. I have a lot of respect for the legends but WWE pull out the same old shit over and over and it gets boring. Every time they do some sort of nostalgia show it’s the same thing. Although, to be fair, this is the closest we’ve gotten to an All Star. More on that later. Piper and Miz spoke for a while, just the two of them, and Piper declared his dislike for Miz. Miz said he found the entire thing ridiculous. Piper said he was on A-Ry’s side. A-Ry came out and said that Miz is basically such a skanky bitch and he should stay away from him. Miz said A-Ry is a gutless whore and if he’s ever near his boyfriend again, he’ll cut him. I may have made up more of this in my head out of boredom. Anyhoo, Piper then declared that A-Ry will probably win at Capitol Punishment. Miz was appalled and told Piper to put his money where his mouth is. A-Ry said that not only is he going to beat him, but Piper could. After annoying deliberation they both agreed to a match where the winner would get $5000. SCSA made it official… and A-Ry will be special guest ref!

The match happened very predictable but Miz’s ass was busting so hard I didn’t care. A-Ry got handsy with Miz, Miz attacked him, A-Ry fought back, Roddy hit the surprise roll up and won. Yadda, yadda, yadda. Meanwhile my head drifts off into dreams of meeting Miz backstage in the WWE showers. His sexy, sweat-glistening body… *ahem* Sorry.

Next was a spot I’m not even willing to discuss at length. WWE decided it’d be nice to roll out every Diva on the freakin’ roster for a 7 on 7 tag match. Only, the match consisted of very little fighting as Kelly Kelly picked up the win. Then Eve decided that WWE fans are likely to watch The Tony awards and did some weird tribute to the Rockettes. AND IF I’M GONNA RECAP THAT, I’VE GOT TWO WORDS FOR YA: CLUSTER. FUCK.

Backstage we got the moment the internet was begging for. CM Punk and SCSA. The segment started with Andy “same expression for everything” Levine being told to F Off the minute things got exciting. Punk then said he was worried SCSA was running the show whilst drunk thus giving us what I believe is the best WWE moment of the year so far:


Brilliant. Just brilliant. Punk went on to thank SCSA for his match against Cena and SCSA then banned New Nexus from ringside.

SCSA then made his way to the ring to make an announcement. He said that next week will be a three hour show again (really?!) and that it will be viewers choice. After that, the Anon GM chimed in which resulted in SCSA trying to beat up Michael Cole and then pouring beer on a laptop. I mean, come on, Apple computers aren’t cheap. Why are they doing this?!

The main event, finally. It was actually a fantastic match which just goes to show that these two men are at the top for a reason. Say what you like about Cena, he knows how to work a crowd and he and Punk worked brilliantly. As the match went on, R Truth appeared out of nowhere in the crowd. He went over to a kid and took his John Cena hat. It looked like he was about to spit water at the kid and Cena begged him not to but was hit by the GTS before he could do anything. Punk then rolled away and Truth entered the ring. Truth then used the WATER BOTTLE OF DEATH (how can it hurt?!) and hit Cena with his finisher.

The show overall was stupid. Where were the All Stars? We literally got Roddy Piper and Stone Cold Steve Austin. They could’ve had Bill DeMott, they could’ve used Trish, there are so many All Stars out there but instead it was more like a WWE Current Stars. Next week is WWE Viewers Choice which basically means WWE manipulates the polls.

Until then, I shall dream of Miz.

XO-WB

Extremely Overshadowed

Thanks for checking in, I know I’m a little behind so please excuse me. Extreme Rules 2011 will forever be known as the PPV that was overshadowed by Bin Laden. That man, even in his death, has managed to cause more heartbreak. The heartbreak of the WWE Fans.

Back to the action I might as well do the logical thing and start from the beginning. We kicked off the Randy Orton vs CM Punk in a No DQ Last Man Standing Match. Booker, Josh and King made a big deal to hype up the fact that nothing was illegal in this match. Then, Punk comes out with the New Nexus and the Anonymous GM informs everyone (via Josh Matthews) that Nexus is banned from ringside. Um, call me stupid but… doesn’t No DQ mean NOTHING IS BANNED?!

The pair had an interesting match but everyone knew which way it was going. The real winner in this entire match was the good ‘ole Kendo stick which got a good look in. It’s very rare that the Kendo stick gets a lot of attention in a match and I, for one, welcome it. It’s nice to see that Punk and Orton have a very Ken-do attitude.

The match was won by Orton after what could’ve been a disaster. Orton wasn’t getting up quick enough during the final 10 count so the ref had to tell him to get up. Woopsie.

We then hit backstage with US Champ Sheamus who told Teddy Long he was furious that he would have to face Kofi Kingston in a bonus Tables Match for the US Title. Sheamus told Teddy that he was more annoyed that Kofi wasn’t American and he demanded that Kofi show us all his birth certificate. Oh, WWE and your satire. Problem is, they forgot to mention that Sheamus is from Dublin so he also isn’t America. But who cares about facts?!

The Sheamus/Kofi match was everything you’d expect. Interesting moves but on-the-whole a very mid-card bout. That is, however, until Kofi pulls out an amazing move. Whilst on the outside, Sheamus pulls himself up using a table set up already. Kofi then jumps the turnbuckle and hits a leg drop on Sheamus, winning the match. It was a stunning move and just goes to show that you should never judge a book by its cover. Meh, who am I kidding? I’ve learnt NOTHING.

Backstage after this match was R Truth who cut the worst promo in recent history. He was huffing and puffing about how it was unfair he wasn’t in the Triple Threat but sadly there was no mention of his imaginary fan, Little Jimmy. I don’t think he could get tickets. The bizarre factor came when Truth declared that “nobody knows what the nose knows”. He then said he smelt a conspiracy. Um, I think you smell burnt toast because I’m 99% sure he had a stroke. Truth then said there’s nothing more he hates than a thief. Oh really? Because he just stole 6 minutes of my life I’m never getting back. Hypocrite.

Uh, then it was time for the Country Whipping Match. I’m a huge fan of Michael Cole and the way his character has developed but now I’m
bored of it. The character is becoming more of a caricature and quite frankly, it’s getting annoying. The match was everything you’d expect from two non-wrestlers, an old –timer and someone who was randomly placed there. It was slow, painful and often boring. The opening was interesting as Michael Cole channelled Lady GaGa wearing a bubble wrap outfit. It was clever. The ending was also a shock because Cole won meaning the whole shtick still hasn’t ended. Lord give me strength.

We were then given a fantastic video package which displayed the change from Dashing Cody Rhodes to Cody’s phantom-esque persona. It was beautifully done and a testament to the production department. The match got under way and boy was it a doozy. I’ll be honest, I’m not going to write much because I cannot convey in words how great this match was. They used every inch of the arena brilliantly with moves I’ve not seen either of them pull out in a long time. They gave it their all and then, to everyone’s surprise, Mysterio wins by blinding Cody with Green Mist!

From Misty to Bitchy, it was time for one of the matches I was most looking forward to. Internet rumours were flying around that Michelle McCool wanted to bow out so this Loser Leaves WWE match seemed like the perfect time. Layla and Michelle had a fantastic match and I don’t think Layla gets enough credit for her skills. I think Layla isn’t the greatest wrestler but she’s maybe not as bad as I have previously stated. This being Extreme Rules, I felt they could’ve made the stipulation a little more interesting but either way, McCool lost and would exit the WWE.

Then we met Kharma aka Awesome Kong. It was the most-hyped Diva debut in years and boy did it pay off. Kharma was truly scary and I know she’s going to have fantastic impact. Her laugh gave me chills. I still don’t feel comfortable calling her a Diva because I mean really, how demeaning is it to call someone of her calibre a Diva. Plus she looks like Whoopi Goldberg on steroids… there ain’t nothing Diva about that.

Christian vs Del Rio for the WHC Title was our next offering and a match I was looking forward to. It was genuinely hard to predict where this would go. Del Rio could win and take the title to RAW and unify the two titles or Christian could win and surprise the entire WWE Universe. After an epic bout which saw both men pull off moves that are unimaginable, Christian did win. The match itself was brilliant and it was obvious that it was brutal. Even Brodus Clay’s interference resulted in blood shed.

It was also great to see that they involved Edge and the embrace the two had at the end was a beautiful way to end Edge’s story. And may long Christian reign as Champion! Huh? WHAT?! Ohhh man… really? How did I not hear…?

For some reason, WWE felt like filling some time so we were given a Tag Title match. Let’s just say it was Lumber-crap and Kane/Show kept the belts. It did play nice into the whole Corre-rosion aspect of things but it wasn’t needed. At all.

Finally we hit our main event and nothing could stop this show making headlines. We had a cage match, a triple threat, The Miz, Cena and Morrison. This was going to be the talking point for everyone for the next few weeks. The match got under way and boy was it good. Oh yeah, then Obama decided to make a speech. I found out about this via Twitter and I knew that my love for WWE couldn’t overshadow the fact that something major was happening. I did wonder if Obama was going to announce he was the Anonymous GM but I quickly realised this was delusion due to lack of sleep.

Yes, it’s the story of the decade – Obama got Osama. Only, whilst it was happening, the match was still going on. The match was fantastic with lots of twists and turns and Morrison may not be a big draw but he excelled in the cage. Problem  is, he could scale the cage in seconds so it was hard to believe he couldn’t just run and jump out of the thing before anyone caught him. He did, however, end up with a massive wedgie and a bruised face. The face was courtesy of R Truth who ran in and beat everyone up. With Morrison out, Miz made a run for it but was stopped by Cena who hit the AA on Miz to win the championship.

I’m kinda glad Cena got overshadowed. I think Bin Laden wasn’t shot. He killed himself because he was a fan of The Miz.

The PPV ended and we all got a bit of perspective. It was pretty awesome though.

Lemme know your thoughts, no matter how extreme.

XO – WB

Extremely Good Predictions

Tonight is the night WWE goes extreme… or less PG than usual. Either way, it’s usually a good PPV and I am certainly look forward to. But, I hear you ask, who does Wrestlebitch think will be victorious? Well, luckily for you I’ve looked deep into Cody Rhodes’ crystal balls and here is what I saw.

Layla vs Michelle McCool – Loser Leaves WWE

The internet may have pretty much ruined this match. It’s been rumoured for a while that Michelle McCool wishes to leave WWE. It’s fair enough, she recently got married and, although internet rumours are never 100%, she wants to spend time with ‘Taker as he gets over his injuries. It does worry me what will happen to Layla. She’s not particularly strong in terms of wrestling skills. I imagine she may be some sort of partner to Kharma (Awesome Kong) when she arrives.

Speaking of which, everyone is wondering if Kharma will debut tonight at Extreme Rules. I find it difficult to believe as it’d mean that she’d be going after Layla but let’s think about it logically. Could it be possible that WWE might surprise us? Who are we to say that they haven’t planted the rumour themselves? After all, Kharma’s promos are all about Barbie-looking blondes.

So I’m going to go bold and say that Michelle McCool will win this!

Jerry Lawler & JR vs Michael Cole & Jack Swagger – Country Whipping Match

I anticipate this match is going to be painful and I don’t mean for those taking part. I’m a huge fan of all parties involved and it’s a great feud but I have a feeling that this match will drag on longer than it needs to.

I also reckon it’ll be Lawler/Swagger heavy as they are the two wrestlers in this mix but I really want to see good ole JR take it to Cole. I just hope JRs hand doesn’t cause him too much bother in this whole thing. Either way, it should make for an interesting match and it’ll be extremely interesting to see where the storyline will lead to if it does end.

My prediction? Jerry Lawler & JR will be Country Winnin’.

Rey Mysterio vs Cody Rhodes (Falls Count Anywhere)

This has to be the first Rey Mysterio match in a long time where I’m genuinely excited to see it. I think the Wrestlemania match was just
a warm-up and both men will go all out as this wonderful feud comes to an end. They’ve spent months brilliantly building this up and it has to be one of the most exciting parts of Smackdown recently.

I predict we’ll see these two fight it out in the stands, brawling backstage and they’ll give it their all.

But, if wrestling formula works, it’ll be Rhodes who loses out tonight. I forsee the end the feud and the end to Rhodes wearing the mask. I hope not as his Phantom-esque persona is really working for him.

Either way, I’m predicting Rey Mysterio picks up the win.

Randy Orton vs CM Punk (Last Man Standing)

It’s clear that this has been a case of Randy Boreton making us all go to sleep recently but with Smackdown fire in his belly and Punk’s eagerness to impress, this should actually make for a good match. It’s clear that the deciding factor here will be the role that New Nexus are going to play in this match which I think will be interesting. I think that the New Nexus hasn’t quite worked out how WWE hoped and let’s face it, it’s kinda lame. The Corre are failing over on Smackdown too so why not have The Corre take on New Nexus?

I guess we’ll have to see how that plays out.

Either way, I’m going for a Randy Orton win.

Christian vs Alberto Del Rio (Ladder Match for WHC)

Interestingly enough this is one of only two championship matches. It’s clear that WWE need to start pushing their belts a bit more. Either way, this should be a fantastic match due to all the emotional angles involved surrounding Edge. It’ll be interesting to see how this one is going to play out and it is quite hard to predict. One can assume that Del Rio will win as that may have been his fate when he was due to go up against Edge but then you have to factor in the fact that Del Rio is going to RAW.

I never thought I’d see the day where Christian would get such a big push and it has been fantastic to see. Sure, this is based on circumstance but I actually forsee Christian having a good run.

The question is though, could the WWE be angling to merge its two championship belts? It’d certainly make for a lot of intrigue but it’d also kill the already-dead brand division. In the knowledge that WWE very rarely backtracks, I’m going to say that the WHC will probably stick to Smackdown.

So that’s a Christian win.

John Cena vs Miz vs John Morrison (Cage Match for WWE Championship)

This will also be another interesting match because you have to factor in the amount of publicity that WWE has gained from The Miz being champion. You also have to think about the R Truth factor and I believe that Truth may play a big part in tonight’s match. I think he will either beat up Morrison before the match in a bid to get in it but then the RAW GM announces it’ll just be Cena vs Miz or he’ll climb up the cage and interfere during the match.

I think the first option is more likely and will bring the biggest surprise. I just hope R Truth isn’t too tied up dealing with Jimmy, his new imaginary friend.

I find it too difficult to imagine The Miz losing the belt just yet so I’m going to have to predict that The Miz will win.

So they’re my predictions but what are yours? Who do you foresee as the winners? Leave a comment, tweet me, break into my house and write them with blood. Either way, let me know!

RAW kidding me!

RAW is most definitely my favourite show in WWE which is why no doubt the RAW recaps will be more religiously posted than the Smackdown ones but lately I’ve been doubtful about how good RAW will be but this week my prayers were answered in what I reckon was a pretty good show.

As mentioned in my first post here on the blog, it was time for the big WWE Draft where everything  begins again. We kicked off with a huge RAW vs Smackdown battle royal. There’s nothing I love more than lots of men invading a small ring. It was a pretty good battle royal but I reckon it was kinda obvious who would win it. That honour went to Big Show and Kofi Kingston who knocked it out of the park for Smackdown. But, who would be the first draft pick?

OH MY GOD! John Cena to Smackdown! This was one draft that I don’t think anyone predicted. I wonder how it’ll work. I might actually tune in for Smackdown to watch him. Oh my gosh it’s so exciting. Nothing can ruin this excitement, I’m CERTAIN of it.

After that excitement, they’re sure to give us something good. Will it be a big match? HHH doing a new promo? Oh. It’s R-Truth. I’m
about as hyped for any appearance he makes as I am for the Royal Wedding. I’m sorry Truth fans but I can’t stand the guy. I think his wrestling is shoddy and his mic work just as bad. Anyway, Truth goes on a rant at the fans as he reckons it’s their fault that he did what he did last week. His theory is that the crowd egged him and Morrison on and, as a result, it’s all their fault. The crowd reacted to this in a very intelligent manner. I lie, they just kept
shouting WHAT?! This is perhaps the most annoying thing about WWE today. That WHAT?! chant has been around for so damn long now it’s not even funny. It’s annoying. Truth decided to play to this factor stopping several times throughout his promo to tell everyone how pissed off that chant makes him.

Then things got a little weird. Truth then started bitching that the fans did nothing for him that their dancing and rapping along didn’t get him any titles. He then turned to an imaginary child on the stage who he called “little Jimmy”. I figured the idea was to be menacing but he just looked stupid. CM Punk, however, knew how to nail the kid thing on the head and his spine-tingling rendition of Happy Birthday to Rey Mysterio’s daughter will always be implanted in my mind as one of the greatest heel moments in WWE history. Truth continued to mock Little Jimmy finally telling him to SHUT UP.

I’m thinking Truth is smoking more than just cigarettes. Luckily, John Morrison intervenes by attacking Truth. The crowd go mild. That’s not a typo. That’s literally the reaction I feel towards this entire feud. Morrison and Truth are awful.

Then it’s time for another draft match with Eve going head to head with Layla. I am loving the current LayCool storyline but I do find it
a bit sad that the pair are breaking up. I think they work brilliantly together and I hope this storyline ends in a great match and a reconciliation. Anyway, the match is pretty basic and Eve butchers most of her moves as per usual and Cole is sounding off all the way through it. Then, marking recent tradition, Cole interrupts the match. This I don’t agree with. I understand that they need to get Cole over and I think it’s been really successful but he can’t go interrupting Divas matches. It devalues even further the women on the roster. It’s clear to me that the Divas aren’t too impressed with this story and I hope it ends with Eve smacking Cole in the mouth.

Michelle ends up shouting abuse at Layla and Layla is distracted allowing Eve to pin Layla. Throughout this action, Cole blabs on. Even Layla looks pissed off he’s done it.

After Cole disappears, Layla confronts Michelle who yells that Layla has lost yet again. Layla goes crazy and beats on Michelle. It’s pretty darn cool and it’s nice to see the tables turning.

After that it’s time for another draft pick with Raw getting to choose.

We’re then offered another great Cody Rhodes promo who says that he will give Rey a send-off to remember. I think the way Cody’s character
has developed has been done really well and I was extremely sceptical of the Dashing persona but this has been well thoughtout and has just been worth every second of screentime.

Then it’s time for another match with Sheamus and Kofi Kingston going head to head. It’s an average match but does its job as Kofi wins getting a pick for Smackdown. But who could it be?

Ah yes. The one we were all waiting for. Already it seems to have given Randy new life and he looks genuinely excited about it. He’s grown a beard and everything.

Next it’s the match I’ve been dreading. Cole vs JR. I think this has been a fantastic angle but the match at Wrestlemania really put me off. Anyway, the match takes ages getting properly started and its clear the crowd are getting bored. Cole prances around the ring until the two men finally go at it. Neither Cole nor JR have much in-ring experience but they do the best they can. The problem is, JR is more of a brawler and ends up busting Cole’s lip! Swagger intervenes and beats on JR. Cole then demands Swagger takes off JR’s belt. I was slightly nervous that we were about to experience an on-screen rape but luckily, Cole just wanted to beat JR with it. Jerry Lawler saves the day and gets Swagger out of the ring. Cole is then whipped by Lawler. It’s a great
ending but perhaps we could’ve got to it a little faster.

Once Cole has ran away the Anonymous RAW General Manager beeps away. Josh Matthews  (yum) takes to the podium to announce that the Lawler & JR vs Cole & Swagger match at Extreme Rules will now be a Country Whipping match. Should be interesting. I’m going to take a break from being hilarious for a moment to address those that are hating on JR for getting involved in this. JR is a legend in the business and I think it’s great they’re allowing him to take part. He has every right to be there and it makes for great progression in story. Unfortunately for JR though, it resulted in a busted knuckle.

Then we meet Miz backstage and Miz isn’t happy that the attention isn’t on him. If I was around Miz he’d receive a lot of attention. Mostly in his penis area. Miz says that he best not get drafted off RAW because, if he does, RAW would be cancelled within a month. The scary thing is, he may be right.

Next up is Randy Orton vs Dolph Ziggler or as I like to call them, Yum and Yummer. Dolph and his new haircut put up a pretty good fight against Orton but it isn’t enough as Orton hits the RKO to get two picks for Smackdown. But who will they be?

IT DOESN’T MATTER WHO THEY’LL BE! Sorry, I’ve always wanted to do that. Before we got to find out, CM Punk interrupted and thing suddenly take a homoerotic turn. CM Punk eyes Orton intently as he tells him that the two of them are going to get “nasty” on each other. My eyes and another body attachment suddenly prick up until I realise he meant their match at Extreme Rules. Gah, a boy can dream.

After the break it’s time to find out who the two picks for Smackdown are.

No surprises there really. The next match we’re offered is Wade Barrett vs Rey Mysterio. The match is actually pretty good and Rey picks up the win gaining RAW two draft picks. But, who will they be?

Teddy Long then makes an appearance to announce the main event. I like Teddy Long and I think it’s great that he’s been around for such a long while but I must admit, I think maybe it’s time for a new GM on Smackdown. Saying that, RAW has a computer so maybe they should focus on putting a face on that instead. Long announces a 6 man Tag Match where the winning team will win the final draft pick of the night for their show.

So, there we have it. The Miz, CM Punk and Alberto Del Rio vs John Cena, Christian and Mark Henry. It’s an interesting match in which The Miz gets the win over John Cena with the skull crushing finale. I must admit, I’m kind of glad John Cena is going to Smackdown. YEAH! I’m so excited. Anyway, it’s
time for RAW’s final draft pick. And who is it…

Ohhhh. Really? Oh man. Well, that sucks. What a waste. Now I feel like a right dick.

It certainly looks like CM Punk was happy as he planted a smacker on Alberto Del Rio!

Cena then beats on everyone and puts his RAW shirt back on. I guess Cena is sticking with RAW.

An interesting RAW which will make Extreme Rules feel more like a season finale than a PPV but I am excited for the dynamics on the two shows and how they’ll change. You can find the results of the Supplementary WWE Draft on WWE.com. The most interesting fact is perhaps that Cody Rhodes, Ted Dibiase and Randy Orton will all be on Smackdown together. Could we see the return of Legacy?

Xo – WB

Can you feel a Draft?

With every draft comes a fresh start. It’s always an exciting time when the WWE Draft comes along so I figured I’d add to the excitement by starting up my own Wrestling blog. I know what you’re thinking “hallelujah, there aren’t enough of these” and you’d be right.

I started the blog because, simply, I love WWE. I love the soap opera of it all and I love the Internet reaction to it. This blog is a melting pot of ridiculous. There’s going to be a lot of stupid things on here. It’s literally the Jedward of blogs. If you want to read more serious stuff, you’re in the wrong place. This is a fun look on all things wrestling.

So the WWE Draft is on the 25th which, as I write, is tomorrow. By the time you’re reading this it’ll probably be over.  Either way I think I should make some predictions. Here are my predictions for the WWE Draft 2011.

But how will I grind into Cena’s crotch?!

It’s one everyone has been talking about and I see it as the only move for him. Randy and his cute ass are running out of steam. I predict he’ll go to Smackdown and have a fued with Cody. Mmm. The two of them back together.

I'll Make It Smokedown!

Again, another bit obvious one. His heel turn and championship shot turn down is a bit obvious. I personally don’t see his appeal and the Morrison-Truth showdown was terrible. Not just because he insulted our no-smoking law. HEATHEN!

I WANNA WRESTLE

I think Gail will go to Smackdown and do a program with the soon-debuting Awesome Kong or Kharma. Whatever she’ll be called.

Oh ‘king Hell.

Bare with me! I know this seems like a longshot but it could work. I know the Cole/King storyline should end at Extreme Rules but tension will still be mounting. Cole has always considered Smackdown to be HIS show so by moving King there it could cause a lot of tension between the two. I think WWE wants to make RAW more young-sounding and, despite how great he is, I think they’ll move him off RAW and onto Smackdown.

These are just some of my picks. Here are the ones I couldn’t be arsed doing pictures for:

To RAW:

Laycool
Matt Striker (to replace Lawler)
Josh Matthews (creating complete announcing team along with Cole)
Jack Swagger
Kaitlyn
Gabriel & Slater

To Smackdown:

Daniel Bryan
Mark Henry
Sheamus
The Great Khali

These are just my opinions of course. I want to hear YOURS. Leave a comment, tweet me, send a pigeon to my house. Do whatever.

xo – WB