This week RAW was all about Power To Dem People, yo (in the words of Booker T). There was, of course, a few hiccups and I’ll discuss them later. So, was it Power To The People or was the Power out?
The show opened with CM Punk who made his way to the ring to, presumably, make the honest announcement he referred to at Capitol Punishment. The internet has been buzzing with rumours that CM Punk is soon to retire as he is yet to renew his contract. CM Punk sat down and I began to wonder if it was story time and, in a way, it was. Punk said that he is the best wrestler in the world and that, after defeating several people, his the natural Number 1 contender for the WWE Title. He said he refused to leave until the RAW GM said so. The GM took his/her time so CM Punk decided he’d make snow angels. I like when CM Punk gets all mischievous.
The Anon GM announced that, CM Punk was giving too much lip and therefore, he’d now have to earn a shot at the title in a match with Alberto Del Rio. CM Punk laughed this off saying that ADR is nothing but a fluke to which the Anon GM said that it’d now be a triple threat.. including Rey Mysterio. Oh yeah, Punk and Mysterio going at it. We’ve not that had that in ooh, 24 hours.
The first match of the night was a Diva’s Championship match where the viewers would get to choose her opponent out of a selection of Eve, Kelly Kelly and Beth Pheonix. The votes were polled and the opponent was announced.
The match itself was actually quite good and I am thinking that the Divas are really upping their game. Even the crowd seemed into it. The match came to an end with a Kelly Kelly win and she was to be the new Divas Champion. This resulted in a lot of tears which made me wish Kharma wasn’t pregnant so she could run in and squash her. Instead we got Jerry Lawler doing another in-ring interview. I sure as hell hope these aren’t a regular feature. Kelly x2 cried about how it was her first Divas Championship and basically looked like she’d just won Miss World.
Next was the most controversial match of the night in terms of the voting process. The People were asked to vote on who they wanted to face Evan Bourne. The decision was between Jack Swagger, Mason Ryan and Sin Cara. The votes came in and everyone got a surprise.
Turns out the voting effed up and the votes for Kelly Kelly accidentally rolled over. The real winner of that should have been Sin Cara so, to make up for it, the two will face off next week. The match was so-so and my fandom for Mason Ryan is waning. I don’t see much potential in the guy and his face and hair irritate me. He looks like someone melted butter and put a wig on it. Anyway, it was basically a squash match with Mason Ryan picking up the win.
The next big decision was a pick the stipulation for Mark Henry v Kane. Mark Henry has been a bit crazy as of late and pulled off the coolest move of the entire Capitol Punishment PPV. That being said, the WWE Fans are often not the smartest and they chose an arm wrestling match. Predictably, this didn’t go to plan and the whole thing got pretty dull as the two refused to get into it, walking around the ring. The crowd even got fed up chanting “this is stupid” which is pretty hilarious considering they probably voted for it. Finally, Mark Henry smacked Kane in the chops and shoved him through an announce table a la Capitol Punishment. Second time around, still cool as hell.
R Truth was the next superstar to take to the mic and he wasn’t a happy bunny after what happened at Capitol Punishment. For those with bad memories, a young “fan” in the audience threw water over him allowing Cena to pick up the win. Truth said he asked (sorry, axed) himself who he thought would screw him over and that he got a surprised as he got “okey-doked by Lil Jimmy”. R Truth’s turns of phrase make me smile on the regular and I beg of WWE to release an R Truth Phrase Book. After whining for a while, R Truth was interrupted by Christian who said he knew how Truth felt. The two had a bitching session which was broken up by The Miz who called them cry-babies.
The Miz then asked the two why they were moaning as they had plenty of chance. He said, in his case, the ref got involved where he shouldn’t. Again, for those who have bad memories, Miz went into the ring to hit A-Ry with the briefcase and the ref snatched it off him. R Truth and Christian weren’t convinced and said that Miz’s match wasn’t important. This led to a hilarious exchange where Christian and Miz yelled “Randy, Riley” at each other only to be interrupted by Truth intercepting with “JIMMY”. A little Jimmy chant then broke out as did a smile on my face.
This exchange was interrupted by Teddy Long who came dressed as Kenan Thompson in the “What’s Up Wit Dat” sketch on Saturday Night Live. He said that the People will get to choose the stipulation of the main event which will be a 6 man tag match in which the 3 of them would face Cena, Orton and Riley.
Following that was the People’s choice on the stip of a US Title rematch between Dolph Ziggler and Kofi Kingston. The drumroll hit and the result was announced.
The match, again, was pretty good. I’m actually impressed with the show so far even though some of the decisions are a little bland. But the people want what the people want. Dolph managed to win the first fall, with the second fall going to Kofi Kingston who hit the SOS out of nowhere. The third fall was everything but for some reason, Dolph didn’t want to play and he sexually crawled away. He probably didn’t mean it sexually but I’m gonna take it as it was. Kofi then went after him, only to get hit with the mic and picking up the DQ win. That doesn’t count though and Dolph kept the title.
Next up was the Triple Threat Match for the number one contender spot. I was quite looking forward to this despite it being a rehash yet again of Mysterio/Punk. The match stipulation was still to be decided so, what did the people go for?
The match was so/so in my opinion and we all could’ve guessed who would have won. CM Punk picked up the win and then picked up a mic.
He announced that July 17th isn’t just Money In The Bank… it’s also the date his contract ends. He then announced that he would be leaving but he wants to leave as champion. WHAT… a twist.
It’s a tough one to top but this next match had done it. I often bang on about seeing rematch after rematch but I honestly don’t mind if they keep it interesting. I’m a huge fan of both Cody Rhodes and Daniel Bryan’s in-ring skill and the matches are always a delight. Again, the people got to pick the stipulation.
The match got underway and it was a doozy. It didn’t last long but that didn’t matter as it had everything I could’ve wanted. There was also a hot-as-hell ass/bulge shot of Rhodes to finish it off. Daniel Bryan picked up the win but later had his ass handed to him by Cody and Ted DiBiase. He was then bagged.
We then went into classic WWE time filler mode as Vicki Guerrero went to the ring. It was to be a dance off where her opponent would be someone from the announce team. Vicki was the first to dance, however, and she got her freak on. She then planted a smacker on a very cute Matt Striker. Is it me or does Matt Striker look younger every time we see him? Nom.
But, who would be Vicki’s opponent?
Cole did a great job, in all fairness, and he was pretty fun. He, naturally, picked up the win with the loudest boos but this did not please Vicki G who slapped him. You go, gurl.
We then had our 6 Man tag team match. The stipulation was yet to be decided and the options were interesting. The drumroll rolled out one last time as the People placed their final votes.
The match was alright but it’s not anything we hadn’t seen before. A-Ry was the first to be eliminated after Miz snuck in a Skull Crushing Finale. Also, I am loving Miz’s funny corner dance he does now. Do you know which one I mean? Before he hits that jump-through-turnbuckle move, he dances around and shakes his hot ass. I love it.
The Miz soon followed his apprentice, however, being eliminated by Cena. It was 2 v 2 and things looked to be fair before Randy Orton eliminated R Truth. I guess he Got Got. Following Truth to the dressing room, however, was Orton but Orton instead RKO’d Christian to help Cena pick up the win with the STF. Meh.
So that was another 3 hour RAW. Next week is RAW Roulette. Hmm… lots of random matches. I guess Creative has nothing for us!