Power Outage

This week RAW was all about Power To Dem People, yo (in the words of Booker T). There was, of course, a few hiccups and I’ll discuss them later. So, was it Power To The People or was the Power out?

The show opened with CM Punk who made his way to the ring to, presumably, make the honest announcement he referred to at Capitol Punishment. The internet has been buzzing with rumours that CM Punk is soon to retire as he is yet to renew his contract. CM Punk sat down and I began to wonder if it was story time and, in a way, it was. Punk said that he is the best wrestler in the world and that, after defeating several people, his the natural Number 1 contender for the WWE Title. He said he refused to leave until the RAW GM said so. The GM took his/her time so CM Punk decided he’d make snow angels. I like when CM Punk gets all mischievous.

The Anon GM announced that, CM Punk was giving too much lip and therefore, he’d now have to earn a shot at the title in a match with Alberto Del Rio. CM Punk laughed this off saying that ADR is nothing but a fluke to which the Anon GM said that it’d now be a triple threat.. including Rey Mysterio. Oh yeah, Punk and Mysterio going at it. We’ve not that had that in ooh, 24 hours.

The first match of the night was a Diva’s Championship match where the viewers would get to choose her opponent out of a selection of Eve, Kelly Kelly and Beth Pheonix. The votes were polled and the opponent was announced.

The match itself was actually quite good and I am thinking that the Divas are really upping their game. Even the crowd seemed into it. The match came to an end with a Kelly Kelly win and she was to be the new Divas Champion. This resulted in a lot of tears which made me wish Kharma wasn’t pregnant so she could run in and squash her. Instead we got Jerry Lawler doing another in-ring interview. I sure as hell hope these aren’t a regular feature. Kelly x2 cried about how it was her first Divas Championship and basically looked like she’d just won Miss World.

Next was the most controversial match of the night in terms of the voting process. The People were asked to vote on who they wanted to face Evan Bourne. The decision was between Jack Swagger, Mason Ryan and Sin Cara. The votes came in and everyone got a surprise.

Turns out the voting effed up and the votes for Kelly Kelly accidentally rolled over. The real winner of that should have been Sin Cara so, to make up for it, the two will face off next week. The match was so-so and my fandom for Mason Ryan is waning. I don’t see much potential in the guy and his face and hair irritate me. He looks like someone melted butter and put a wig on it. Anyway, it was basically a squash match with Mason Ryan picking up the win.

The next big decision was a pick the stipulation for Mark Henry v Kane. Mark Henry has been a bit crazy as of late and pulled off the coolest move of the entire Capitol Punishment PPV. That being said, the WWE Fans are often not the smartest and they chose an arm wrestling match. Predictably, this didn’t go to plan and the whole thing got pretty dull as the two refused to get into it, walking around the ring. The crowd even got fed up chanting “this is stupid” which is pretty hilarious considering they probably voted for it. Finally, Mark Henry smacked Kane in the chops and shoved him through an announce table a la Capitol Punishment. Second time around, still cool as hell.

R Truth was the next superstar to take to the mic and he wasn’t a happy bunny after what happened at Capitol Punishment. For those with bad memories, a young “fan” in the audience threw water over him allowing Cena to pick up the win. Truth said he asked (sorry, axed) himself who he thought would screw him over and that he got a surprised as he got “okey-doked by Lil Jimmy”. R Truth’s turns of phrase make me smile on the regular and I beg of WWE to release an R Truth Phrase Book. After whining for a while, R Truth was interrupted by Christian who said he knew how Truth felt. The two had a bitching session which was broken up by The Miz who called them cry-babies.

The Miz then asked the two why they were moaning as they had plenty of chance. He said, in his case, the ref got involved where he shouldn’t. Again, for those who have bad memories, Miz went into the ring to hit A-Ry with the briefcase and the ref snatched it off him. R Truth and Christian weren’t convinced and said that Miz’s match wasn’t important. This led to a hilarious exchange where Christian and Miz yelled “Randy, Riley” at each other only to be interrupted by Truth intercepting with “JIMMY”. A little Jimmy chant then broke out as did a smile on my face.

This exchange was interrupted by Teddy Long who came dressed as Kenan Thompson in the “What’s Up Wit Dat” sketch on Saturday Night Live. He said that the People will get to choose the stipulation of the main event which will be a 6 man tag match in which the 3 of them would face Cena, Orton and Riley.

Following that was the People’s choice on the stip of a US Title rematch between Dolph Ziggler and Kofi Kingston. The drumroll hit and the result was announced.

The match, again, was pretty good. I’m actually impressed with the show so far even though some of the decisions are a little bland. But the people want what the people want. Dolph managed to win the first fall, with the second fall going to Kofi Kingston who hit the SOS out of nowhere. The third fall was everything but for some reason, Dolph didn’t want to play and he sexually crawled away. He probably didn’t mean it sexually but I’m gonna take it as it was. Kofi then went after him, only to get hit with the mic and picking up the DQ win. That doesn’t count though and Dolph kept the title.

Next up was the Triple Threat Match for the number one contender spot. I was quite looking forward to this despite it being a rehash yet again of Mysterio/Punk. The match stipulation was still to be decided so, what did the people go for?

The match was so/so in my opinion and we all could’ve guessed who would have won. CM Punk picked up the win and then picked up a mic.
He announced that July 17th isn’t just Money In The Bank… it’s also the date his contract ends. He then announced that he would be leaving but he wants to leave as champion. WHAT… a twist.

It’s a tough one to top but this next match had done it. I often bang on about seeing rematch after rematch but I honestly don’t mind if they keep it interesting. I’m a huge fan of both Cody Rhodes and Daniel Bryan’s in-ring skill and the matches are always a delight. Again, the people got to pick the stipulation.

The match got underway and it was a doozy. It didn’t last long but that didn’t matter as it had everything I could’ve wanted. There was also a hot-as-hell ass/bulge shot of Rhodes to finish it off. Daniel Bryan picked up the win but later had his ass handed to him by Cody and Ted DiBiase. He was then bagged.

We then went into classic WWE time filler mode as Vicki Guerrero went to the ring. It was to be a dance off where her opponent would be someone from the announce team. Vicki was the first to dance, however, and she got her freak on. She then planted a smacker on a very cute Matt Striker. Is it me or does Matt Striker look younger every time we see him? Nom.

But, who would be Vicki’s opponent?

Cole did a great job, in all fairness, and he was pretty fun. He, naturally, picked up the win with the loudest boos but this did not please Vicki G who slapped him. You go, gurl.

We then had our 6 Man tag team match. The stipulation was yet to be decided and the options were interesting. The drumroll rolled out one last time as the People placed their final votes.

The match was alright but it’s not anything we hadn’t seen before. A-Ry was the first to be eliminated after Miz snuck in a Skull Crushing Finale. Also, I am loving Miz’s funny corner dance he does now. Do you know which one I mean? Before he hits that jump-through-turnbuckle move, he dances around and shakes his hot ass. I love it.

The Miz soon followed his apprentice, however, being eliminated by Cena. It was 2 v 2 and things looked to be fair before Randy Orton eliminated R Truth. I guess he Got Got. Following Truth to the dressing room, however, was Orton but Orton instead RKO’d Christian to help Cena pick up the win with the STF. Meh.

So that was another 3 hour RAW. Next week is RAW Roulette. Hmm… lots of random matches. I guess Creative has nothing for us!

XO-WB

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Overly Limited

Hey everybody. First of all, I’d like to apologise for the lateness of this post. I’ve been extremely busy this last week. Oh well, you know what they say, the best things come in threes.

So, my predictions kinda sucked so I guess my time as WWE’s Mystic Meg is not to be. Oh well, my predictions couldn’t have been any worse than the PPV itself which should’ve been named Overly Predictable. You see, my predictions were all hopeful guesses that things would be taken into a different direction but I was wrong yet again.

The show kicked off with resident nut job R Truth who was unhappy about having to park in a normal parking space. He says that the rest of the Superstars get their own spaces yet he was left park away from the stadium. He then spouted off about how it was degrading and that he had to walk in the rain or, as he put it, “I had to walk in the rain, yo”. Now anybody who reads this blog will know I can’t stand R Truth but I actually find this hilarious. He’s gone literally mental. Also, the whole Little Jimmy thing is pure genius. I’m actually tempted to change my name to Jimmy just so I can call myself that. SHUT UP LITTLE JIMMY.

Rey Mysterio then comes out for his match against Truth and it was actually a solid showing. Truth won the match but then comes the stupid part. The whole Truth-goes-loco story came after John Morrison mocked Truth for needing water in between gauntlet matches. After his match with Rey, Truth grabs a bottle of water and hits Rey with it. Now, Rey goes down like he’s just been punched by Big Show. How? Bottles of water aren’t that heavy and Rey reacts like he’s been ran over by a truck. It was totally bizarre.

We then see Miz backstage who talks the usual garb about people not believing in him and he even mentions JBL by name. I think JBL sounds like a complete jerk. Anyhoo, I’m totally distracted by A-Ry behind Miz who seems so into him. It’s a shame things aren’t going to work out between them because I could so see a Brokeback storyline with them two. So cute. Miz says that he’s never quit anything in his life. Not sure if that’s a good thing.

From Awesome to mediocre, Wade Barrett v Big Zeke. Zeke is clearly the front runner in this and, predictably, the Corre get involved. Zeke picks up the win via DQ but not the title. I like how Zeke is trying to bring back the bodyslam. I love me a bodyslam. Just maybe not 50 times over.

The Corre’s old friends McGillicutty and Otunga are laid out backstage after an attack from Kane and Big Show. Mason Ryan goes mental but he looks ridiculous. It’s a shame that his acting skills aren’t as broad as his shoulders. If it wasn’t for CM Punk, the whole New Nexus thing would fall on its arse. Every line he delivers is pure gold and I loved when he told them both to ‘walk it off’.

A match I was really looking forward to was Chavo v Sin Cara. Sin Cara is a great wrestler and I love the whole drama of it all. The match, however, was a bit dull in terms of progression. It seemed very much a simple showcase of Sin Cara’s skills rather than an actual match. I love that Sin Cara gets special lighting but I think it needed to be a bit more two sided. The match, however, had FANTASTIC camera work and there were some great shots. I must say, actually, the staging of the entire PPV was its saving grace. The camera work was fantastic and the general production value was amazing. It just shows why WWE makes great television. Sin Cara picked up the win too, which will please many of his fans.

We then see Orton and Christian backstage in a very awkward interview. The two act like they’re lovers who have broken up… in my head, anyway. Christian says he’s not mad at Orton but he totally is. Christian is sooo mad, you can so tell. He’s totally wanting to bitchslap Orton in his pouty face but he doesn’t want Orton to know he’s bothered because then Orton will get the satisfaction of seeing him upset. So high school. Orton is SUCH a skank.

Alberto Del Rio didn’t have a match so they decided to place him randomly doing another speech about destiny. I was destined to fall asleep. Hey, WWE, use him or lose him. The poor guy was interrupted by Kane and Big Show and Big Show threatened to shove his fist in him. Oof. I like that they seem to have beef with Del Rio. I feel this could be heading somewhere… LOL JK, I totes watched RAW and realised.

Kane and Show stuck around for their match against Punk and Mason Ryan. It was a so-so match which was basically overshadowed by Mason Ryan’s massive arse. I mean, really, did you see that thing? It’s like it wanted to actually eat his trunks. Anyhoo, Kane and Show won the match and kept the titles. Yawn.

Capitol Punishment is the next PPV so WWE have decided to do awful promos starring Barack Obama. I swear to God, they’re a bigger travesty than 9/11.

Finally, some Divas action with Brie Bella going up against Kelly Kelly for the Divas Championship. I awaited the entire match which, actually, was pretty good and surprisingly lengthy for Kharma but she didn’t come out. I wonder why that is……… apologies there for my pregnant pause. Anybaby, the Bellas did some twin magic and Brie retained.

From one set of Divas to another, it was the World Heavyweight Championship match. I kinda wasn’t looking forward to it because I thought it’d just be all friendly back-and-forth for what is particularly an uninteresting match. What I got was a nice surprise. The match was brilliant with lots of fake outs and Orton didn’t dominate at all. It was also nice to see him whip out some new moves which included a submission move… some sort of Inverted Boston Crab. I’d totally submit to Orton, hubba hubba. After it looked like Christian was about to win, Orton hit an RKO and retained. Afterwards, he helped Christian up but Christian shoved him away. Aww, he’s totally heartbroken. Then it was decided they’d be boring and the two made up afterwards. I wanted them to have a grudge match, in mud, all sweaty and angry with Christian yelling “I HATE THAT I LOVE YOU”. Imagine if I ran WWE? It’d be super gay.

Speaking of super gay, it was time for the match I was dreading. The Eat My Foot Match. It began with Cole reading out a fake doctors letter stating he wouldn’t be able to compete. It was then handed to the ref who revelled in his chance to take centre stage and dramatically tore it up. It was totally a Den/Angie Eastenders moment (google it). The match was as expected, slow and boring. After Lawler picked up the win, the foot eating was dragged out. Eve was the first special guest and she finally got her revenge by hitting a moonsault on Cole. Then came JR who poured BBQ sauce all over him. Then, as Cole tried to run away, Bret Hart came out. Yey, just what we needed (!). Bret then got Cole into the ring, hit the sharpshooter and Lawler stuck his foot in Cole’s mouth. So gross.

The main event was the I Quit Match for the WWE Title. I won’t go into it because it really pissed me off. First of all, any match in which Cena gets beaten up for a long while is always going to end the same way. He’ll take back control with his superhuman powers and win the thing. It’s an obvious formula that they should’ve broken away from. I like Cena but this should’ve been more creative. Of course, the twist was creative. The twist being Riley using his phone to make it sound as if though Cena had quit. It was smart. But then the match restarted and Cena won in under 60 seconds. It’s stupid. What made this match good though was the total homoeroticism of the entire thing. Cena was shoved into holes, sweating and A-Ry held him down. Totally gay.

After Cena overpowered A-Ry and Miz, Cena hit the STF and Miz quit. And the Cenation reign continues.

RAW kidding me!

RAW is most definitely my favourite show in WWE which is why no doubt the RAW recaps will be more religiously posted than the Smackdown ones but lately I’ve been doubtful about how good RAW will be but this week my prayers were answered in what I reckon was a pretty good show.

As mentioned in my first post here on the blog, it was time for the big WWE Draft where everything  begins again. We kicked off with a huge RAW vs Smackdown battle royal. There’s nothing I love more than lots of men invading a small ring. It was a pretty good battle royal but I reckon it was kinda obvious who would win it. That honour went to Big Show and Kofi Kingston who knocked it out of the park for Smackdown. But, who would be the first draft pick?

OH MY GOD! John Cena to Smackdown! This was one draft that I don’t think anyone predicted. I wonder how it’ll work. I might actually tune in for Smackdown to watch him. Oh my gosh it’s so exciting. Nothing can ruin this excitement, I’m CERTAIN of it.

After that excitement, they’re sure to give us something good. Will it be a big match? HHH doing a new promo? Oh. It’s R-Truth. I’m
about as hyped for any appearance he makes as I am for the Royal Wedding. I’m sorry Truth fans but I can’t stand the guy. I think his wrestling is shoddy and his mic work just as bad. Anyway, Truth goes on a rant at the fans as he reckons it’s their fault that he did what he did last week. His theory is that the crowd egged him and Morrison on and, as a result, it’s all their fault. The crowd reacted to this in a very intelligent manner. I lie, they just kept
shouting WHAT?! This is perhaps the most annoying thing about WWE today. That WHAT?! chant has been around for so damn long now it’s not even funny. It’s annoying. Truth decided to play to this factor stopping several times throughout his promo to tell everyone how pissed off that chant makes him.

Then things got a little weird. Truth then started bitching that the fans did nothing for him that their dancing and rapping along didn’t get him any titles. He then turned to an imaginary child on the stage who he called “little Jimmy”. I figured the idea was to be menacing but he just looked stupid. CM Punk, however, knew how to nail the kid thing on the head and his spine-tingling rendition of Happy Birthday to Rey Mysterio’s daughter will always be implanted in my mind as one of the greatest heel moments in WWE history. Truth continued to mock Little Jimmy finally telling him to SHUT UP.

I’m thinking Truth is smoking more than just cigarettes. Luckily, John Morrison intervenes by attacking Truth. The crowd go mild. That’s not a typo. That’s literally the reaction I feel towards this entire feud. Morrison and Truth are awful.

Then it’s time for another draft match with Eve going head to head with Layla. I am loving the current LayCool storyline but I do find it
a bit sad that the pair are breaking up. I think they work brilliantly together and I hope this storyline ends in a great match and a reconciliation. Anyway, the match is pretty basic and Eve butchers most of her moves as per usual and Cole is sounding off all the way through it. Then, marking recent tradition, Cole interrupts the match. This I don’t agree with. I understand that they need to get Cole over and I think it’s been really successful but he can’t go interrupting Divas matches. It devalues even further the women on the roster. It’s clear to me that the Divas aren’t too impressed with this story and I hope it ends with Eve smacking Cole in the mouth.

Michelle ends up shouting abuse at Layla and Layla is distracted allowing Eve to pin Layla. Throughout this action, Cole blabs on. Even Layla looks pissed off he’s done it.

After Cole disappears, Layla confronts Michelle who yells that Layla has lost yet again. Layla goes crazy and beats on Michelle. It’s pretty darn cool and it’s nice to see the tables turning.

After that it’s time for another draft pick with Raw getting to choose.

We’re then offered another great Cody Rhodes promo who says that he will give Rey a send-off to remember. I think the way Cody’s character
has developed has been done really well and I was extremely sceptical of the Dashing persona but this has been well thoughtout and has just been worth every second of screentime.

Then it’s time for another match with Sheamus and Kofi Kingston going head to head. It’s an average match but does its job as Kofi wins getting a pick for Smackdown. But who could it be?

Ah yes. The one we were all waiting for. Already it seems to have given Randy new life and he looks genuinely excited about it. He’s grown a beard and everything.

Next it’s the match I’ve been dreading. Cole vs JR. I think this has been a fantastic angle but the match at Wrestlemania really put me off. Anyway, the match takes ages getting properly started and its clear the crowd are getting bored. Cole prances around the ring until the two men finally go at it. Neither Cole nor JR have much in-ring experience but they do the best they can. The problem is, JR is more of a brawler and ends up busting Cole’s lip! Swagger intervenes and beats on JR. Cole then demands Swagger takes off JR’s belt. I was slightly nervous that we were about to experience an on-screen rape but luckily, Cole just wanted to beat JR with it. Jerry Lawler saves the day and gets Swagger out of the ring. Cole is then whipped by Lawler. It’s a great
ending but perhaps we could’ve got to it a little faster.

Once Cole has ran away the Anonymous RAW General Manager beeps away. Josh Matthews  (yum) takes to the podium to announce that the Lawler & JR vs Cole & Swagger match at Extreme Rules will now be a Country Whipping match. Should be interesting. I’m going to take a break from being hilarious for a moment to address those that are hating on JR for getting involved in this. JR is a legend in the business and I think it’s great they’re allowing him to take part. He has every right to be there and it makes for great progression in story. Unfortunately for JR though, it resulted in a busted knuckle.

Then we meet Miz backstage and Miz isn’t happy that the attention isn’t on him. If I was around Miz he’d receive a lot of attention. Mostly in his penis area. Miz says that he best not get drafted off RAW because, if he does, RAW would be cancelled within a month. The scary thing is, he may be right.

Next up is Randy Orton vs Dolph Ziggler or as I like to call them, Yum and Yummer. Dolph and his new haircut put up a pretty good fight against Orton but it isn’t enough as Orton hits the RKO to get two picks for Smackdown. But who will they be?

IT DOESN’T MATTER WHO THEY’LL BE! Sorry, I’ve always wanted to do that. Before we got to find out, CM Punk interrupted and thing suddenly take a homoerotic turn. CM Punk eyes Orton intently as he tells him that the two of them are going to get “nasty” on each other. My eyes and another body attachment suddenly prick up until I realise he meant their match at Extreme Rules. Gah, a boy can dream.

After the break it’s time to find out who the two picks for Smackdown are.

No surprises there really. The next match we’re offered is Wade Barrett vs Rey Mysterio. The match is actually pretty good and Rey picks up the win gaining RAW two draft picks. But, who will they be?

Teddy Long then makes an appearance to announce the main event. I like Teddy Long and I think it’s great that he’s been around for such a long while but I must admit, I think maybe it’s time for a new GM on Smackdown. Saying that, RAW has a computer so maybe they should focus on putting a face on that instead. Long announces a 6 man Tag Match where the winning team will win the final draft pick of the night for their show.

So, there we have it. The Miz, CM Punk and Alberto Del Rio vs John Cena, Christian and Mark Henry. It’s an interesting match in which The Miz gets the win over John Cena with the skull crushing finale. I must admit, I’m kind of glad John Cena is going to Smackdown. YEAH! I’m so excited. Anyway, it’s
time for RAW’s final draft pick. And who is it…

Ohhhh. Really? Oh man. Well, that sucks. What a waste. Now I feel like a right dick.

It certainly looks like CM Punk was happy as he planted a smacker on Alberto Del Rio!

Cena then beats on everyone and puts his RAW shirt back on. I guess Cena is sticking with RAW.

An interesting RAW which will make Extreme Rules feel more like a season finale than a PPV but I am excited for the dynamics on the two shows and how they’ll change. You can find the results of the Supplementary WWE Draft on WWE.com. The most interesting fact is perhaps that Cody Rhodes, Ted Dibiase and Randy Orton will all be on Smackdown together. Could we see the return of Legacy?

Xo – WB

Can you feel a Draft?

With every draft comes a fresh start. It’s always an exciting time when the WWE Draft comes along so I figured I’d add to the excitement by starting up my own Wrestling blog. I know what you’re thinking “hallelujah, there aren’t enough of these” and you’d be right.

I started the blog because, simply, I love WWE. I love the soap opera of it all and I love the Internet reaction to it. This blog is a melting pot of ridiculous. There’s going to be a lot of stupid things on here. It’s literally the Jedward of blogs. If you want to read more serious stuff, you’re in the wrong place. This is a fun look on all things wrestling.

So the WWE Draft is on the 25th which, as I write, is tomorrow. By the time you’re reading this it’ll probably be over.  Either way I think I should make some predictions. Here are my predictions for the WWE Draft 2011.

But how will I grind into Cena’s crotch?!

It’s one everyone has been talking about and I see it as the only move for him. Randy and his cute ass are running out of steam. I predict he’ll go to Smackdown and have a fued with Cody. Mmm. The two of them back together.

I'll Make It Smokedown!

Again, another bit obvious one. His heel turn and championship shot turn down is a bit obvious. I personally don’t see his appeal and the Morrison-Truth showdown was terrible. Not just because he insulted our no-smoking law. HEATHEN!

I WANNA WRESTLE

I think Gail will go to Smackdown and do a program with the soon-debuting Awesome Kong or Kharma. Whatever she’ll be called.

Oh ‘king Hell.

Bare with me! I know this seems like a longshot but it could work. I know the Cole/King storyline should end at Extreme Rules but tension will still be mounting. Cole has always considered Smackdown to be HIS show so by moving King there it could cause a lot of tension between the two. I think WWE wants to make RAW more young-sounding and, despite how great he is, I think they’ll move him off RAW and onto Smackdown.

These are just some of my picks. Here are the ones I couldn’t be arsed doing pictures for:

To RAW:

Laycool
Matt Striker (to replace Lawler)
Josh Matthews (creating complete announcing team along with Cole)
Jack Swagger
Kaitlyn
Gabriel & Slater

To Smackdown:

Daniel Bryan
Mark Henry
Sheamus
The Great Khali

These are just my opinions of course. I want to hear YOURS. Leave a comment, tweet me, send a pigeon to my house. Do whatever.

xo – WB